Oddservation #1 “Today you will be playing the role of….”

Burlington Coat Factory is one of the stores I like to frequent here in Lubbock to look for great deals on jewelry or clothes. I often just go in, browse a while, and leave empty-handed but relieved that there is nothing new and wonderful in there that I don’t know about. A couple of weeks ago I went in and started browsing the jewelry as it is the first thing you see when you walk in the door.

I was checking out a rack of mostly hideous earrings when a couple of fellow shoppers’ conversation caught my attention. They looked to be around 22 years old or so, both white, she was chubby and he was gay. Chubby girls and gay men make such great teams. I’m well familiar with this pairing but in this instance it seemed like she thought he was her boyfriend and he thought that he was a professional, paid stylist to the stars. It was so odd that I had to eavesdrop for a while.

“What do you think of these honey?” she said.
“Well that just depends…which belt were you planning to wear?” he said.
“I don’t know. What about this…in a pink maybe?”
“Oh yeah…that would be awesome!”
“Now I’m not too sure about the silver because I’ve already got those hoops and…”
“Yeah you might want to go for something a little different that really pops.”
“Yeah”
“So if you got these two, you could really match them up with all kinds of colors. Like what about that yellow scarf with these!?”
“Oh definitely….I just worry about the size.”
“I don’t think it would be a problem really”
“Ooooo look at these honey!”

And on and on it went. These two were not just casually shopping. This chubby girl and her gay pretend boyfriend had a serious agenda. I was so intrigued by the concentration they were giving this jewelry for some reason.

More than the way they were shopping, I was really perplexed about the relationship between them. The way she called him honey in every other sentence and placed her hand on his back as he admired the jewelry would indicate that she had somehow missed out on the fact that this guy was as gay as Christmas and she was just out shopping with her loving man who cared so much about her that he would help her pick out jewelry to accentuate her beauty which he admired so much. Other girls would be so jealous if they knew how much her man loved her! The way that he meticulously poured over this jewelry pointing out every little shimmering detail suggested that he had mentally transported himself into Versace and he was assisting his number one A-list celebrity client.

These two friends were out together shopping and they seemed to be side-by-side with one goal in mind but as an observer I saw that they were actually in two different worlds, each of them using the other as an actor in their fantasy whether they knew it or not.

The strangest part of this whole thing was what happened right before I walked away. A couple who looked to be in their mid-fifties walked up to the “couple” who were shopping and the woman said to them “come on guys, it’s time to go”. Who was this woman and why was she telling these two grown people it was time to go as if they were 12??? I spent the rest of my time shopping trying to figure out who these people were and what roles they played in one another’s lives, both in reality and in their imaginations.